Cindy

My brother George P. Gauthier lost his battle with addiction 5/28/15. He was 44 years old,  He was so intelligent and creative and funny.  He struggled with alcohol from the time he was in his early 20’s after getting married and having three children and his alcohol addiction had progressed . He lost his marriage , his home , his job and his children and his will to live. I was in and out of his life , I would pray so hard for him , he would get sober then relapse , this repeated all his life. He began using coke , crack , heroine, prescription drug and of course alcohol , whatever to numb his pain. He would try to end his life , he would over dose , the number of times I don’t know but it was many.  He tried AA , counseling , psychiatric units , program, and church .  He was so broken and seemed to not be able to stop . Two days before he died he was admitted to the hospital for intoxication they released him.The next day brought back to the hospital in Springfield , MA for intoxication. Our mom and a pastor/social worker told the hospital he needed to be admitted for psychological evaluation as he was going to kill himself,  They were told he was an adult and once sober if he said he was fine could go.  He was released by 11 pm that night .The next day he was dead.  We believe he took a hand full of Oxycodone and his body gave up in my mothers house. At least he was not alone or in the streets,or killed in a fight or stabbed or shot but he is still gone. As a family to live with the what if’s the how come’s what if my mom called the paramedics sooner what if we tried harder , what if I hugged him more, what if , what if , what if. This is so painful and I want to scream and I want him back but not the addiction my brother who I lost years ago to a terrible illness of addiction. The world say a drug addict , he was not his addiction he was MY baby brother , a uncle , a father , a husband , a son , a grandson a creation of God. He mattered his life mattered , he was valuable and loved.