Bonnie

For my daughter who OD an died on May 26 2009. She left behind a 2 year old daughter an 3 month old son. They both live with us now. I’m her mom who misses her everyday. It does not get easier an time does not heal losing your child. I explain it like this. When you look at the sunset an it is beautiful well it’s not that beautiful anymore. when she died I died. I might be breathing but I will never be a whole person again. She was funny strong willed an such a fireball of life. She called me 10 to 20 times a day.  Now I am missing those calls.  I tried everything loving fighting an following snooping an nthing stopped her. I realized after she was gone that I couldn’t do anything she had too. An that was one of the hardest things cause you are watching your child on a train track with the train coming an you cannot stop it. That is what it is like with a person on drugs. A train wreck. She not only hurt her parents she hurt her children an family an friends. She was such a beautiful girl I wish she would have chosen a different path. I love an miss her an miss her smile her hugs her smell. I miss just being her mom.