Auntie

September 7, 2014 will be forever burned into my memory.   The phone call, the frantic drive to the emergency room, and the look on your father’s face are constantly replayed over an over again.  You were a beautiful soul, intelligent, funny, full of life and promise…and only 23 years old.  I knew you were struggling with heroin because you told me.  I offered to care for you, provide shelter, find treatment, I would have done anything if I could.  The last time I saw you, you told me you were clean and would be ok.  I knew you were lying.  I wish I had confronted you, could have protected you, saved you, told you one more time how much I loved you.  On the outside you tried to portray that you were happy, invincible, strong, and powerful. I saw that you were actually tortured, depressed, angry with yourself, ashamed, and hopeless.  I tried to tell you that you were loved, valued, full of potential, and this could be fixed.  I still had hope for you.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.  I see signs of you everywhere…I hope that you are peaceful and happy where ever you have gone.  I continue to reach out to your friends. I call it planting seeds of love and hope.  Maybe some will grow, please water them if you can.  So much addiction out there…I love you more than you will ever know…Auntie