My baby Honor died on July 8, 2022 went to be with the Lord. My daughter was the most amazing person I’ve ever known.

She was just seven months old when we adopted and Chong Ching, China, you most beautiful child ever I miss her every day. She was 25.

Its been almost 11 years since you left us here. Like napalm, your passing scorched the earth of everyone who ever met you and every one of our furbabies. It still catches me off guard to say you committed suicide (according to the coroner). Did you mean to? You knew the potential outcome of mixing alcohol with your meds. We talked about it ad nauseum. You were my best friend, my confidante, my lover, my spouse, the father to our two beautiful amazing children. Who at 12 and 26 were not ready to navigate a world without you. Your sense of humor, your notorious “dad jokes”. The fun games we played that were completely made up spur of the moment, and seemed to stick in our family. Driving to look at the Christmas lights and rating them two thumbs up for really great ones, and half a pinky for one lil strand. Scoring system of course invented by our children.
Oh how I wish you were here to see the amazing people they have become. To help them understand their unique sense of being, living with their own dna sequence of mental illness. I know you would have known what to say and how to help them learn coping skills. You were the fun parent, I’ve always admitted it. And I hated being the one to pass out the discipline, to help with the homework, to teach them how to properly do household chores.
Our baby girl, she is a beautiful smart funny amazing young woman now. She looks so much like you, it hurts. Our son, you would have been so proud of him. He finally pulled his head out of his…. and is married! He has the most delicious one year old. We are grandparents Dad! We graduated to Mawmaw and Pawpaw. Our son is so good at being a dad.
I’m not going to try and say I wasn’t upset with you. Because I am still very upset with you. And that’s just my grief taking it’s time. I can still hear your voice, and smell your cologne. You were the best part of me, and I’m so sorry you didn’t see that. I’m so sorry you couldn’t feel the admiration and love you had from everyone who ever knew you.
I know you have all your questions answered now. And I hope you finally have all the peace your so richly deserved.
I’m still super pissed off at you. And would have come running if you had called. We promised we would still be best friends, no matter what.
I miss you butt head. Every single day… and I can’t wait to see you again.

I didn’t get to know you very long but your daughter is okay, missing you, but okay. We’ve taken good care of her and she’s living a life you’d be proud of.

I lost my dad almost 3 and half years ago and my mum about 5 months ago. I’m 20 now and it hit me and my younger siblings really bad. I wish I was there for them more. I wish I can do over my life so I could have been with my mum and dad more. Especially my mum as I use to push her away in my teen years. I deeply regret it. She would have been 41 on Monday and my dad would have been 42 in October.

I have lost a lot of friends and even more acquaintances to overdose— an unfortunate consequence of being addicted yourself. Cody, though, was my best friend… He was the person who got me best out of everyone in the world. He understood me on a level that I have never found with anyone else. I lost him in 2017. At the time we had both been clean for 3 months. He relapsed and I never saw him again. I miss him every day. My life and my happiness has a hole in it where he is supposed to be. I love you, brother. Thanks for always being “in my tree.”

What can one say about Mika?!?! He was a force…super smart, super smart ass, super empathetic. His strengths eventually became his greatest weaknesses. I met him when he moved into the recovery house that I was managing and he quickly became my friend. I still feel somewhat responsible- thinking that what if I had not went to work that day and just addressed his sudden discontent with his situation. All I can say is I wish I had just known how close to relapse that you were. When I got the call that you had passed, alone on your bedroom floor, I lost my breath and then I lost my drive for a bit to take care of the careless. As time has passed though, your spirit has returned and made me more determined than ever to do this work and to help those who do not know yet that they want help. I pray that your spirit continues to drive my work! I love you buddy!